book notes #11: collaboration

Holy crap.  About a week ago, I finished the first edit of my book!  One step closer to publication!

And it only took a couple of months, which is good considering it took several years just to write the first draft.  I hope the second edit will go even faster.  I've actually already started it and it's amazing and slightly disheartening how I keep finding things I want to change/cut out.  I just keep wondering how I didn't catch all of that stuff the first time around.  But no one ever does so it's okay.

I read a quote from an artist (who I can't remember) that said (I'm paraphrasing [this person really resonated with me as you can tell]), "You never really finish a piece.  You just stop and move on to the next."

I can relate.  I think I usually stop drawing or writing because I get tired of it.  I create stuff as a means of expressing my thoughts and feelings and once I've properly poured out my heart, I'm over it.  When I feel the content is there, I'm satisfied and don't get caught up in the technicalities of grammar and punctuation.

But then there are times when I want to make something really important and really good.  I spend more time on it and polish it up and try to make it something that rises above my normal mediocre output.  And with those special pieces, I'm never really done.  I go back and tweak and perfect but it's never perfect.  Eventually, I stand back and realize it's the best I can do, although it's not what I pictured in my head.

But I don't want to perfect something to the point I poison it, you know what I mean?  It's like you say you're going to fix just one thing, a brush stroke or accidental charcoal smudge or improper syntax and then you see something else that needs to be fixed, a bum note or flat delivery of dialogue, and by the time you've ironed out all the little blemishes, the final product has become grossly altered and no longer represents your vision.

Maybe that happened to Picasso.  He saw the nose on one of his portraits was leaning to the left so he fixed it, which threw off the eyes so he had to shift them around, which screwed up the mouth and by the time he finished swapping and sorting, he had created Cubism.

Anyway.      

The next step is to get a couple of test readers to tell me if it's any good.  I'll be looking for more of a content critique rather than grammar and punctuation.  I just need to know if it's a good book!

I've gotten some positive feedback on my writing here and I appreciate it so much but the compliments are based on reading me a few times a week.  As we all know by now, I'm quite a downer.  I think reading my depressing ramblings spread out every couple of days or so is fine.  People can handle that.  But when I pour all that negativity into one long book, I am afraid it'll be off putting.  So much cynicism.  The reader will have to pop a couple of Zoloft to make it through chapter 5.

The other day, I was thinking about singer/songwriters.  A lot of times, they collaborate with other more seasoned singer/songwriters to elevate their ideas into better products.  It seems common with music but not so much with books, unless it's a real writer helping a celebrity put together a memoir or cash in on their fad success with books written about fictionalized versions of themselves.  Sure, sometimes well known authors collaborate together but I see them doing it more for fun, rather than one writer helping the other create a better book.

Sometimes, I think it would be great if I had a writing partner.  I've stated before that I don't have a ton of ideas but I do have a couple of small pieces of ideas stashed away collecting dust because I don't know where to take them or how to bring out the value of the ideas.  I have lines of poetry and very few short story ideas but they stay shelved because I am not good enough to bring them to life.  But I could if I had a collaborator. 

I think it would be nice if I could have a fellow writer to bounce ideas off of, someone I can feel comfortable sharing possibly bad ideas with, someone I can be totally open with and trust they'll steer me in the right direction, tell me when something is good, tell me when something is cheesy, and turn that cheese into a masterpiece. 

I think it would also help my productivity.  I often stay stuck on a topic for days or even weeks (I even have ideas I've been sitting on for years) because I can't break through the wall of confusion/insecurity/cluelessness.  But if I had someone to write with, they could help me break down the barriers that keep me from a good poem or awesome essay.

But the problem with collaborators is I often wonder how much input these singers and/or authors have in the creation of a song or book.  Do they simply add a sentence or two or change up a couple of lyrics and slap their name on it and then say they wrote it?  When I hear artists say they write their own songs, it often annoys me because their liner notes say they wrote the song along with three other people.  How much credit can you really take when you are one of several?  How much is yours and how much are you saying is yours? 

I wouldn't want people thinking that about me.  I don't want to be known for great art or writing if the majority of it wasn't mine.  Heck, I'm not even sure I'd like it if I couldn't claim 100% ownership.  What if someone came up to me one day and said a particular line in a poem or a particular piece of dialogue from one of my books completely changed their lives and it just so happens that one line or that one passage was the one line or passage I didn't write myself?  I'd feel fake and icky.  I don't want to feel that way.

But then again, it's all art and it's all about creating and putting it out there for others to enjoy and does it really matter who it comes from?  As long as I'm always straight up and honest and say I am only one person in a team effort to create the best art possible, then what's wrong with that?

And really, does anyone ever create something 100% themselves?  Even great writers who can write an entire book on their own have to report to editors who give suggestions. 

Then there's the challenge of finding a collaborator.  No one I know in real life likes to write so I'd probably have to joining some kind of writing group but I hesitate to do that because I'm not really a writer.  I write but I just can't take myself seriously enough to go that deep into it, to step into a literary world where poetry pulses through people's veins and books are stored in their heads waiting for them to sit down and extract them.  The only thing I've got floating around in my head is fart jokes and dessert recipes.  I wouldn't want to be laughed out of a group. 

I'll just have to settle with doing the best I can on my own for now, maybe getting help here and there and if I'm lucky enough, stumble upon someone who gets my writing and gets me so they can help me elevate it to the level I want it to be so I can feel like a real, accomplished writer.