I watched The Perks of Being a Wallflower last weekend and it was great and it made me both happy and sad. I related to Charlie, the main character and an outcast of sorts. I could not relate to the Charlie who finally found a place he belonged. But good for him.
I just wondered if there was a story out there about a boy who never found his place. Where was the tale of the guy who sat at the lunch room table by himself? Where's the book about the boy who reached the end and found nothing was resolved? Stories like that don't exist because people don't want a depressing ending. They need to have hope for the boy because they are the boy and if the boy doesn't make a connection, they fear they won't either and no one wants to consider that could be a reality for them.
So we set him up with some good friends and a crush and he gets kissed and holds hands under the stars and it's book perfect. And we feel both happy and sad because we don't have that but the boy is us and so if he finds it, so will we.
But some people know better.
In the movie (and book), Charlie writes letters to someone, chronicling a year in his life, but we are never told who he writes. And it made me want to write letters to anonymous people, too. What if I selected an address out of the phone book and wrote to this stranger, told him or her what was going on in my life? What if I sent several strangers these kinds of letters? What if I followed up every month or two? "Hi, it's me again. This is what has happened since the last time I wrote you." But I'd keep myself anonymous as well. A letter written from the heart and sent to one stranger from another.
Of course, it could be borderline creepy.
I think there's something kind of romantic and beautiful about reaching out to a complete stranger, making an intimate connection, sharing personal struggles and triumphs through a filter of anonymity. I like the juxtaposition and the...well, borderline creepiness of it, to be honest. I just know if someone sent me a random anonymous letter that let me glimpse into their life, I'd be fascinated. Well, it was a good life with good writing, of course. I don't need anyone sending me their school schedule or grocery list.
Oh, and I listened to the author/director commentary after I watched the movie and it was almost better than the movie. He delves deeper into the book and the movie and the characters and how he felt about making the movie and writing the book and all the feels he tried to capture and it was just nice and warm and beautiful and I recommend it.
Showing posts with label reading. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reading. Show all posts
Friday, March 1, 2013
Friday, January 18, 2013
simple moves
I have to say, I've been working out consistently and killing it during many of the sessions. Just like I did last year, I started out on January 1st and got up and put my trainers on and poured sweat and shredded muscle tissue.
It was actually a lot easier this time around, too, because I'm used to it now.
YES. I'M USED TO IT.
Prior to last year, working out was equivalent to eating dog crap but now it's no thang. It's weird but kind of awesome.
That's not to say I haven't had my bad days. I'll get up and go through the motions sometimes. And I used to feel bad about it because I feel like if I'm going to work out, it needs to count. I don't want to waste my time flailing around and not burning enough calories to matter. But I saw a quote on Facebook that said something like the only bad workout is one you didn't do. Made me feel better. Made me realize it does matter. It does count.
But, as I said, sometimes I really put 110% into the workout and by the end, I'm drenched in sweat and my body hurts and when I wake up in the morning in pain, I like it. I know it's actually not good for you to be sore like that but it makes me feel like I really did something so I welcome the pain.
It was actually a lot easier this time around, too, because I'm used to it now.
YES. I'M USED TO IT.
Prior to last year, working out was equivalent to eating dog crap but now it's no thang. It's weird but kind of awesome.
That's not to say I haven't had my bad days. I'll get up and go through the motions sometimes. And I used to feel bad about it because I feel like if I'm going to work out, it needs to count. I don't want to waste my time flailing around and not burning enough calories to matter. But I saw a quote on Facebook that said something like the only bad workout is one you didn't do. Made me feel better. Made me realize it does matter. It does count.
But, as I said, sometimes I really put 110% into the workout and by the end, I'm drenched in sweat and my body hurts and when I wake up in the morning in pain, I like it. I know it's actually not good for you to be sore like that but it makes me feel like I really did something so I welcome the pain.
Sunday, August 19, 2012
fifty shades of what women want
At the behest of my work girlfriend (who I will refer to as WG for short), I read Fifty Shades of Grey. I didn't really want to but she kept insisting and I thought it could be something new we could discuss. We've never talked about books before so I was looking forward to an intellectual exchange regarding fictional characters and their motivations.
But as I read, I kept pointing out problems I had with the book. Christian Grey was too perfect, too mysterious. Anastasia Steele was too innocent, too inexperienced. Early on in the book, she said she didn't know why she was falling for him.
"That doesn't make any sense," I mentioned to WG. "He's super rich. He's super handsome. He's graceful and just distant enough to leave her wanting more. That's reason enough to fall in love with him. Any girl would. Heck, I think I'd fall in love with him, too."
WG laughed. "Well, he does have some physical flaws, though. He's not perfect."
"Oh, yeah? What? Is his penis so large he can't find comfortable underwear? What a tortured soul!'
She laughed again. Ah, such a nice sound.
"So, what is so appealing about him?"
"I don't know," she said, her kohl-lined eyes wandering off to the ceiling, pondering. "I guess I just like that he's dark."
"I'm dark," I said. Hello, I was dead for three years.
"No you're not," she said with a smirk. "You're just emo. And you choose to be that way."
Ah, not such a nice sound. She really knows how to stab a guy right in the face.
"He had a really dark childhood," she added.
"You don't know about my upbringing. It could have been dark, too." It wasn't.
"Not like his," she countered.
"You don't know what I've been through!" Nothing.
I just wasn't that impressed with the book. I'll admit I jump on literally bandwagons. I read the Twilight series and The Hunger Games series and I always tried to enjoy the books for what they were instead of what they were hyped to be. And they were both all right. But this one I just couldn't seem to get into like the others. I guess I can understand it's popularity because it's so provocative but honestly, it wasn't as filthy as I imagined, which was admittedly another reason I wanted to read it. I wanted to see how raunchy it really got. Maybe I'm just a sick mofo but it seemed a little tame to me. It's possible things get more extreme in the other two books but I think the first one walked the fine line between kinky sex and all out smut, just enough to titillate and not alienate, which is why it worked so well. So I give her props for that but the writing is pretty amateur.
But as I read, I kept pointing out problems I had with the book. Christian Grey was too perfect, too mysterious. Anastasia Steele was too innocent, too inexperienced. Early on in the book, she said she didn't know why she was falling for him.
"That doesn't make any sense," I mentioned to WG. "He's super rich. He's super handsome. He's graceful and just distant enough to leave her wanting more. That's reason enough to fall in love with him. Any girl would. Heck, I think I'd fall in love with him, too."
WG laughed. "Well, he does have some physical flaws, though. He's not perfect."
"Oh, yeah? What? Is his penis so large he can't find comfortable underwear? What a tortured soul!'
She laughed again. Ah, such a nice sound.
"So, what is so appealing about him?"
"I don't know," she said, her kohl-lined eyes wandering off to the ceiling, pondering. "I guess I just like that he's dark."
"I'm dark," I said. Hello, I was dead for three years.
"No you're not," she said with a smirk. "You're just emo. And you choose to be that way."
Ah, not such a nice sound. She really knows how to stab a guy right in the face.
"He had a really dark childhood," she added.
"You don't know about my upbringing. It could have been dark, too." It wasn't.
"Not like his," she countered.
"You don't know what I've been through!" Nothing.
I just wasn't that impressed with the book. I'll admit I jump on literally bandwagons. I read the Twilight series and The Hunger Games series and I always tried to enjoy the books for what they were instead of what they were hyped to be. And they were both all right. But this one I just couldn't seem to get into like the others. I guess I can understand it's popularity because it's so provocative but honestly, it wasn't as filthy as I imagined, which was admittedly another reason I wanted to read it. I wanted to see how raunchy it really got. Maybe I'm just a sick mofo but it seemed a little tame to me. It's possible things get more extreme in the other two books but I think the first one walked the fine line between kinky sex and all out smut, just enough to titillate and not alienate, which is why it worked so well. So I give her props for that but the writing is pretty amateur.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
2009 Book/Movie List
Well, I've been working on this entry all year long. At the end of 2008, I saw a blogger who had listed all the books they read that year. I thought that would be a good idea and decided to do the same for 2009. Unfortunately, I didn't read very much at all. I did watch a lot of movies, however. So, I decided to list every movie I watched along with every book I read. I have a lot of trouble remembering what I've read and what I've seen so I figured this would be a good way to keep track of everything that I watch or read.
2009 Book List
January
Twilight (3.5/5)
I Was Told There’d Be Cake (2.5/5)
How to Make Love Like a Zombie (1.5/5)
February
:(
March
:(
April
:(
May
:(
June
Serial (1.5/5)
July
:(
August
:(
September
:(
October
:(
November
Twilight: New Moon (3.5/5)
December
:(
Books I Wanted to Read (But Was too Lazy to)
Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic
Lucky
Chuck Klosterman IV
Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist
Exquisite Corpse
Invisible Monsters
Haunted
The Spinal Cord Perception (reread)
The Perks of Being a Wallflower (reread)
Siddhartha
Animal Liberation
The Undertaking
Weekend
Wasted : A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia
Go Ask Alice
2009 Movie List
January
Pineapple Express (4/5)
Twilight (3/5)
My Bloody Valentine 3D-2009 (Theater) (4.5/5)
The Dark Knight (3/5)
Project: Ako (4/5)
Project: Ako (Blue Side/Grey Side) (4/5)
Superman: Doomsday (TV) (3/5)
Prayers for Bobby (TV) (4/5)
Redneck Zombies (2/5)
The Thing (4/5)
February
Resident Evil: Degeneration (3/5)
Return of the Living Dead (2/5)
A Nightmare on Elm Street (4/5)
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2 (1.5/5)
Lakeview Terrace (3/5)
Quarantine (4/5)
Choke (3/5)
Cannibal (1.5/5)
March
Dead Like Me (Life After Death) (3.5/5)
Static (TV) (3/5)
The Midnight Meat Train (3.5/5)
Let the Right One In (3.5/5)
The Skeleton Key (3.5/5)
Silent Hill (4/5)
Tetsuo: Iron Man (0/5)
April
Wishmaster (4/5)
Wishmaster 2 (3/5)
Rest Stop (3.5/5)
Rest Stop 2 (2.5/5)
The Zombie Diaries (1/5)
Role Models (2.5/5)
Casshan: Robot Hunter (3/5)
Cold Prey (2/5)
May
Cheerleader Camp (3/5)
Donkey Punch (2.5/5)
I, Zombie (1/5)
Sex Drive (4.5/5)
My Bloody Valentine-2009 (DVD) (3/5)
June
Haunting Sarah (TV) (1.5/5)
Splinter (4/5)
The Uninvited (3/5)
Zombies Zombies Zombies (4/5)
I Walked with a Zombie (TV) (1.5/5)
Dirty Love (5/5)
The Willies (2/5)
Bad Boy Bubby (0/5)
Friday the 13th (2009) (2/5)
The Deviants (4/5)
Mirrors (1.5/5)
One Missed Call (1.5/5)
July
The Messengers (3.5/5)
I’ll Bury You Tomorrow (3/5)
Ozone (2/5)
Slashers (3.5/5)
Feast (3.5/5)
Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds (4.5/5)
Feast 3: The Happy Finish (4/5)
The Haunting in Connecticut (2.5/5)
True Blood: Season One (TV Series) (5/5)
August
Laid to Rest (2.5/5)
Gut Pile (1.5/5)
Stumped (Short Film) (2/5)
I’ve Killed Before (Short Film) (2.5/5)
Subspecies 4: Bloodstorm (2.5/5)
Visiting Hours (1.5/5)
Meat Market 2 (2/5)
The Majorettes (1.5/5)
Dexter: Season 3 (TV Series) (4.5/5)
September
Lisa Lampanelli: The Queen of Mean (3/5)
Crazy Eights (TV) (1.5/5)
Last House on the Left (1.5/5)
Last House on the Left (2009) (4/5)
The Ten (2.5/5)
X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2/5)
October
Slaughter (TV) (1/5)
Wrong Turn 2: Dead End (TV) (3/5)
I Love You, Man (3/5)
Zombieland (4/5)
From Within (3/5)
Sex and the City: The Movie (3.5/5)
My Super Psycho Sweet Sixteen Party (TV) (3.5/5)
Orphan (4.5/5)
Edges of Darkness (0.5/5)
Stan Helsing (1/5)
Trick-r-Treat (3.5/5)
November
Elfen Lied (TV Series) (3/5)
Drag Me to Hell (3.5/5)
Deadgirl (4/5)
The Hills Run Red (3.5/5)
Last Holiday (TV) (3/5)
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (TV) (2/5)
Spring Breakdown (2/5)
Black Sheep (3/5)
End of the Line (3.5/5)
House of the Dead II: All Guts, No Glory (2/5)
Toxic Avenger II (2/5)
Twilight (DVD) (3/5)
Twilight Saga: New Moon (3/5)
December
Grace (2/5)
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (TV) (4/5)
100 Feet (TV) (1.5/5)
The Devil Wears Prada (TV) (4/5)
The Ring Virus (0/5)
The Hangover (2/5)
Best of the Year
My Bloody Valentine 3D-2009 (Theater) (4.5/5)
Sex Drive (4.5/5)
Dirty Love (5/5)
Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds (4.5/5)
True Blood: Season One (TV Series) (5/5)
Dexter: Season 3 (TV Series) (4.5/5)
Orphan (4.5/5)
Worst of the Year
Tetsuo: Iron Man (0/5)
The Zombie Diaries (1/5)
I, Zombie (1/5)
Bad Boy Bubby (0/5)
Slaughter (TV) (1/5)
Edges of Darkness (0.5/5)
Stan Helsing (1/5)
The Ring Virus (0/5)
2009 Book List
January
Twilight (3.5/5)
I Was Told There’d Be Cake (2.5/5)
How to Make Love Like a Zombie (1.5/5)
February
:(
March
:(
April
:(
May
:(
June
Serial (1.5/5)
July
:(
August
:(
September
:(
October
:(
November
Twilight: New Moon (3.5/5)
December
:(
Books I Wanted to Read (But Was too Lazy to)
Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic
Lucky
Chuck Klosterman IV
Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist
Exquisite Corpse
Invisible Monsters
Haunted
The Spinal Cord Perception (reread)
The Perks of Being a Wallflower (reread)
Siddhartha
Animal Liberation
The Undertaking
Weekend
Wasted : A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia
Go Ask Alice
2009 Movie List
January
Pineapple Express (4/5)
Twilight (3/5)
My Bloody Valentine 3D-2009 (Theater) (4.5/5)
The Dark Knight (3/5)
Project: Ako (4/5)
Project: Ako (Blue Side/Grey Side) (4/5)
Superman: Doomsday (TV) (3/5)
Prayers for Bobby (TV) (4/5)
Redneck Zombies (2/5)
The Thing (4/5)
February
Resident Evil: Degeneration (3/5)
Return of the Living Dead (2/5)
A Nightmare on Elm Street (4/5)
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2 (1.5/5)
Lakeview Terrace (3/5)
Quarantine (4/5)
Choke (3/5)
Cannibal (1.5/5)
March
Dead Like Me (Life After Death) (3.5/5)
Static (TV) (3/5)
The Midnight Meat Train (3.5/5)
Let the Right One In (3.5/5)
The Skeleton Key (3.5/5)
Silent Hill (4/5)
Tetsuo: Iron Man (0/5)
April
Wishmaster (4/5)
Wishmaster 2 (3/5)
Rest Stop (3.5/5)
Rest Stop 2 (2.5/5)
The Zombie Diaries (1/5)
Role Models (2.5/5)
Casshan: Robot Hunter (3/5)
Cold Prey (2/5)
May
Cheerleader Camp (3/5)
Donkey Punch (2.5/5)
I, Zombie (1/5)
Sex Drive (4.5/5)
My Bloody Valentine-2009 (DVD) (3/5)
June
Haunting Sarah (TV) (1.5/5)
Splinter (4/5)
The Uninvited (3/5)
Zombies Zombies Zombies (4/5)
I Walked with a Zombie (TV) (1.5/5)
Dirty Love (5/5)
The Willies (2/5)
Bad Boy Bubby (0/5)
Friday the 13th (2009) (2/5)
The Deviants (4/5)
Mirrors (1.5/5)
One Missed Call (1.5/5)
July
The Messengers (3.5/5)
I’ll Bury You Tomorrow (3/5)
Ozone (2/5)
Slashers (3.5/5)
Feast (3.5/5)
Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds (4.5/5)
Feast 3: The Happy Finish (4/5)
The Haunting in Connecticut (2.5/5)
True Blood: Season One (TV Series) (5/5)
August
Laid to Rest (2.5/5)
Gut Pile (1.5/5)
Stumped (Short Film) (2/5)
I’ve Killed Before (Short Film) (2.5/5)
Subspecies 4: Bloodstorm (2.5/5)
Visiting Hours (1.5/5)
Meat Market 2 (2/5)
The Majorettes (1.5/5)
Dexter: Season 3 (TV Series) (4.5/5)
September
Lisa Lampanelli: The Queen of Mean (3/5)
Crazy Eights (TV) (1.5/5)
Last House on the Left (1.5/5)
Last House on the Left (2009) (4/5)
The Ten (2.5/5)
X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2/5)
October
Slaughter (TV) (1/5)
Wrong Turn 2: Dead End (TV) (3/5)
I Love You, Man (3/5)
Zombieland (4/5)
From Within (3/5)
Sex and the City: The Movie (3.5/5)
My Super Psycho Sweet Sixteen Party (TV) (3.5/5)
Orphan (4.5/5)
Edges of Darkness (0.5/5)
Stan Helsing (1/5)
Trick-r-Treat (3.5/5)
November
Elfen Lied (TV Series) (3/5)
Drag Me to Hell (3.5/5)
Deadgirl (4/5)
The Hills Run Red (3.5/5)
Last Holiday (TV) (3/5)
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (TV) (2/5)
Spring Breakdown (2/5)
Black Sheep (3/5)
End of the Line (3.5/5)
House of the Dead II: All Guts, No Glory (2/5)
Toxic Avenger II (2/5)
Twilight (DVD) (3/5)
Twilight Saga: New Moon (3/5)
December
Grace (2/5)
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (TV) (4/5)
100 Feet (TV) (1.5/5)
The Devil Wears Prada (TV) (4/5)
The Ring Virus (0/5)
The Hangover (2/5)
Best of the Year
My Bloody Valentine 3D-2009 (Theater) (4.5/5)
Sex Drive (4.5/5)
Dirty Love (5/5)
Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds (4.5/5)
True Blood: Season One (TV Series) (5/5)
Dexter: Season 3 (TV Series) (4.5/5)
Orphan (4.5/5)
Worst of the Year
Tetsuo: Iron Man (0/5)
The Zombie Diaries (1/5)
I, Zombie (1/5)
Bad Boy Bubby (0/5)
Slaughter (TV) (1/5)
Edges of Darkness (0.5/5)
Stan Helsing (1/5)
The Ring Virus (0/5)
Monday, October 5, 2009
Reading Rainbow was Canceled so There’s no Reason to Live
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: The Accelerated Reader program in school really screwed me over. You guys had this, right? You know what I’m talking about?
I’ve pretty much always based my behavior off of my acquaintances. Thankfully, I had some pretty straight-laced friends in high school so instead of imitating underage drinking or toilet papering houses, I imitated going to church and reading books. I was never a huge reader. I did enjoy the occasional good book but I never voraciously ripped through the dusty stacks at the local public library. Yet, I always admired the idea of books and reading. It seems like reading is a good drug. It provides that sense of escape but in a healthier manner. In fact, books might even help you come to terms with what you’re escaping yourself from. Of course, it doesn’t have to be like that. Books can just be for entertainment as well. That’s the beauty of books. They can encompass a variety of functions, from fun to funneling frustrations into something slightly less scary. As well as admiring the idea of reading, I’ve also always admired my friends who liked to read. They always seemed so intelligent and I wanted to be intelligent so I started reading like they did. Eventually, reading became a pleasure for me. Being that chubby insecure child that I was, reading was a way for me to put my worries on hold, to run away from my regrets and fall into a world not my own, to experience another type of existence. I found that aspect of reading to be quite fascinating and addicting.
Then, AR started and reading became a chore. It’s true, you can enjoy something all day long but as soon as you are forced to do it, it’s simply not that fun anymore. So, with AR, reading became mandatory and the books that I would usually take time to enjoy became deadline reads that forced me to push an interest in what I was reading, drilling it into my noggin with each new chapter instead of planting a seed of interest and letting it bloom with each new page. Being forced to care about a character or situation just isn’t as satisfying as when you can just let it happen organically. Not only were my friends avid readers but quite competitive as well. They competed to see who could get the most points and were always checking out those huge books that were worth more. I ended up having to read twice as many small books just to keep up. Sure, I could have grabbed a large book here or there but most of them just sounded boring and while I was already becoming irritated by the fact that I had to read good books in a rush, I couldn’t imagine being forced to read boring material. That’s even worse. So, the once simple joy of reading starting to become an assembly line of books, quizzes, points earned, rinse, repeat. And that’s on top of the book reading I had to do for my English classes and various chapters in textbooks for other classes.
I was so glad when I was finished with the Accelerated Reader program. Unfortunately, when I entered high school I came face to face with more forced reading in the form of a Nazi English teacher. She had a penchant for assigning two and sometimes three books at one time. Large books. I had her once in tenth grade and again in twelfth grade and she honestly burned me out on reading. After I was done with her class, I don’t think I picked up a book for months. It took a lot of time to get into reading on a voluntary basis again.
Unfortunately, over the years, I’ve developed quite the case of A.D.D. and I can’t seem to concentrate on books the way I used to. Also, reading makes me sleepy! I can sit down in the middle of the day and feel wide awake and three chapters in I’m drooling on the cover. It’s like, if I’m not spazzing out then I’m zoning out and so reading just isn’t as focused and pleasurable as it used to be for me. It doesn’t help that the last few books I’ve read weren’t that great. It just seems like I can’t find a good book. I don’t really even know what I’d be into at this point. I’ve never had a specific genre that I’ve enjoyed more than another. I like it all, really. It’s just that nothing has really gotten me worked up or too excited lately and it makes me sad. It makes me even sadder that I’ve found this passion for writing and yet I am not much of a reader. It doesn’t seem to make much sense. To read is to learn how to write and reading would probably help me out so much but I can’t find the concentration.
And poor Reading Rainbow was canceled recently. I used to love that show. It seems quite fitting regarding my situation. It's like the end of an era. Without other like-minded, gap-toothed kids enthusiastically recommending their favorite books, how are our little ones supposed to know what to read? I guess they'll have to learn about it on the streets. And where am I supposed to learn about books? Where am I going to find that passion for reading again? Where's the concentration, the motivation, the caffeine? I feel bad because I have so many stacks and stacks of books that I keep buying and never actually read. I guess none of them are interesting enough for me to actually want to start reading again. I need to be on fire for a book. I just can't think of any great titles. Maybe I just need to sit outside with a giant cup of coffee and a zombie novel. Perhaps that will cure me of my reading block.
Has anyone read anything amazing lately? Any recommendations?
I’ve pretty much always based my behavior off of my acquaintances. Thankfully, I had some pretty straight-laced friends in high school so instead of imitating underage drinking or toilet papering houses, I imitated going to church and reading books. I was never a huge reader. I did enjoy the occasional good book but I never voraciously ripped through the dusty stacks at the local public library. Yet, I always admired the idea of books and reading. It seems like reading is a good drug. It provides that sense of escape but in a healthier manner. In fact, books might even help you come to terms with what you’re escaping yourself from. Of course, it doesn’t have to be like that. Books can just be for entertainment as well. That’s the beauty of books. They can encompass a variety of functions, from fun to funneling frustrations into something slightly less scary. As well as admiring the idea of reading, I’ve also always admired my friends who liked to read. They always seemed so intelligent and I wanted to be intelligent so I started reading like they did. Eventually, reading became a pleasure for me. Being that chubby insecure child that I was, reading was a way for me to put my worries on hold, to run away from my regrets and fall into a world not my own, to experience another type of existence. I found that aspect of reading to be quite fascinating and addicting.
Then, AR started and reading became a chore. It’s true, you can enjoy something all day long but as soon as you are forced to do it, it’s simply not that fun anymore. So, with AR, reading became mandatory and the books that I would usually take time to enjoy became deadline reads that forced me to push an interest in what I was reading, drilling it into my noggin with each new chapter instead of planting a seed of interest and letting it bloom with each new page. Being forced to care about a character or situation just isn’t as satisfying as when you can just let it happen organically. Not only were my friends avid readers but quite competitive as well. They competed to see who could get the most points and were always checking out those huge books that were worth more. I ended up having to read twice as many small books just to keep up. Sure, I could have grabbed a large book here or there but most of them just sounded boring and while I was already becoming irritated by the fact that I had to read good books in a rush, I couldn’t imagine being forced to read boring material. That’s even worse. So, the once simple joy of reading starting to become an assembly line of books, quizzes, points earned, rinse, repeat. And that’s on top of the book reading I had to do for my English classes and various chapters in textbooks for other classes.
I was so glad when I was finished with the Accelerated Reader program. Unfortunately, when I entered high school I came face to face with more forced reading in the form of a Nazi English teacher. She had a penchant for assigning two and sometimes three books at one time. Large books. I had her once in tenth grade and again in twelfth grade and she honestly burned me out on reading. After I was done with her class, I don’t think I picked up a book for months. It took a lot of time to get into reading on a voluntary basis again.
Unfortunately, over the years, I’ve developed quite the case of A.D.D. and I can’t seem to concentrate on books the way I used to. Also, reading makes me sleepy! I can sit down in the middle of the day and feel wide awake and three chapters in I’m drooling on the cover. It’s like, if I’m not spazzing out then I’m zoning out and so reading just isn’t as focused and pleasurable as it used to be for me. It doesn’t help that the last few books I’ve read weren’t that great. It just seems like I can’t find a good book. I don’t really even know what I’d be into at this point. I’ve never had a specific genre that I’ve enjoyed more than another. I like it all, really. It’s just that nothing has really gotten me worked up or too excited lately and it makes me sad. It makes me even sadder that I’ve found this passion for writing and yet I am not much of a reader. It doesn’t seem to make much sense. To read is to learn how to write and reading would probably help me out so much but I can’t find the concentration.
And poor Reading Rainbow was canceled recently. I used to love that show. It seems quite fitting regarding my situation. It's like the end of an era. Without other like-minded, gap-toothed kids enthusiastically recommending their favorite books, how are our little ones supposed to know what to read? I guess they'll have to learn about it on the streets. And where am I supposed to learn about books? Where am I going to find that passion for reading again? Where's the concentration, the motivation, the caffeine? I feel bad because I have so many stacks and stacks of books that I keep buying and never actually read. I guess none of them are interesting enough for me to actually want to start reading again. I need to be on fire for a book. I just can't think of any great titles. Maybe I just need to sit outside with a giant cup of coffee and a zombie novel. Perhaps that will cure me of my reading block.
Has anyone read anything amazing lately? Any recommendations?
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