job limbo

Last March, a co-worker of mine walked up to me with the biggest smile on her face.

"Heeey, what's up?" I asked, unnerved.

"I have a question for you and I want you to keep this between us."

"Okay..."

"I know I'm not supposed to do this but I am starting up a business and I want to take you with me."

"SIGN ME UP," I said. I didn't know what the business was. It could have involved me fisting dwarves on the Internet for the website humantootsiepop.com. I was up for it.

She smiled even wider. "Excellent!"

The job turned out to be for a glass repair company. She wanted me to be in the office handling the phones while she and her husband cut and repaired and installed the stuff. Sounded fine to me. Really, I just wanted to get out of my current job and never have to fold a shirt again.

She projected the company would start up later in the year, around late October or early November.

It was my turn to smile wide. I would be able to escape retail hell just in time to miss the holiday rush. Excellent!

Well, October came around and asked for a progress report.

"Things are taking longer than expected," she said. Cue the heart drop. "It's looking like early next year. In January."

Okay...

A couple of weeks later, I heard through a supervisor that she tried to quit. When I saw her, I questioned her about it.

"Heard you tried to jump ship?"

"Yeah. Well, I'm just trying to get this business going enough to get you on board and working here is cutting into that. But the boss talked me into staying through Christmas."

I wondered, if she had quit, if she was going to let me know or keep in contact with me as she expanded her business.  It won't lie.  It worried me.

So, December came and went and I made it through Christmas with the incompetent holiday help and when January rolled around, I was ready to leave the place.

The other day, I asked for another progress report.

"It's looking like this summer," she said. This time I gave her an audible sigh.

"I know, I know," she said. "We just gotta get our revenue up."

Every time she mentions the job and hiring me, she tacks on another 4 months. It's definitely worrisome and maybe I wouldn't be so willing to stick it out with her if she weren't so nice and I wasn't so desperate to get out of retail hell. Working at the new job doesn't sound like a load of fun as I'll still have to deal with people but it will be over the phone instead of in person and I won't have to deal with their coffee and cigarette breath or pick up pins or assemble another stack of jeans so I'm down.

I just keep thinking the new job will hopefully be less stressful than the one I have now and that will allow me some mental clarity to be more creative with my writing and possibly even start back drawing and even animating.

I don't see this new job as a career but a stepping stone. I've never tried to be bratty about my jobs. I don't know what my true passion is so I can't say I want to find the perfect job because I don't know what the perfect job is for me yet but I've always said I just wanted a decent job to help me pay the bills and save up for an apartment one day.

Plus, sticking it out with her guarantees me a new job. It's much easier than trying to send out resumes and going through tedious interviews and getting my hopes up and never receiving the call of good news.

Right now, I'm just coasting. I'm seriously over my job right now and YES I AM GRATEFUL TO HAVE A JOB but I've also checked out. It's mentally draining and physically boring and I don't even know if the company will last much longer because they have been going through some financial hardships that rumors say they can't recover from so that also makes me not care anymore. If they are already going down the crapper, I'm not gonna break my back.

The problem is, although job opportunities are few and far between, I've skipped potential opportunities because the co-worker is so sure of me having a position with her. I don't want to let her down because I've already told her several times I'm ready to go with her as soon as she's ready for me. I know it's silly because it's my livelihood and not hers but I have no reason not to trust her.

I guess I'll just have to wait until summer gets here. And nag her about the job as much as I can.  Maybe it'll help motivate her to get things going sooner, if for no other reason than to get me to stop nagging.