Employment Exasperation III: A Journey's End

They say you can't avoid death and taxes but what they don't tell you is that after you die, you still have to pay taxes.  The only thing more permanent than death is greed.

When I started this blog, I was a freshly dead college graduate looking for any kind of work just to get back into the fold of things.  I had to keep busy to keep from rotting.  I had put aside my dreams of becoming an animator for a more practical position, just to earn enough money to be able to continue practicing my animation skills until I was good enough to actually create a portfolio and demo reel to send off to animation companies.

I had really wanted to do office work and put in application after application for about three months straight, looking every single day online at different job websites for positions, checking the newspaper and even asking around.  Nothing ever came of it.  All the while, there was an available position lingering over my head, a job my mom pushed and pushed me to take.  I avoided it as long as possible because I did not want to work there.  It's not a classy job.  It's the job where you'll find all the high school dropouts and pot heads.  But, it's an easy job to get.  They'll hire anyone.  But I was trying to find something better, something I could be proud of.  Unfortunately, nothing ever developed and I had to swallow my pride, give in, and apply.

I got it, big surprise.

I can't talk about the job because I was specifically told not to and I don't want to get into trouble/fired for "advertising" or even talking smack about the place or my fellow employees but I really want to.  I've only been working for a week and I already want to pull a Plath.  Is it possible to die twice?  Sometimes I'd like to find out.

I'm just pretty bitter because this is the first job I've ever taken that I didn't want in the first place.  All of my other jobs have been desirable, at least at first.  I'd either grow to love or hate them but I hated this one from the start and it hasn't failed to meet my rock bottom expectations.  But I have no choice.  It's full-time and I'll be getting benefits, which is quite necessary since my student loans are going to start being due in December (Happy birthday, you owe us 100,000 dollars!) and I need to start helping out with the family finances.  Plus, I keep hearing other people at the job talk about how much they love it.  I even know a girl that works there and told me "it's really not that bad, I promise" and she says she loves what she does.  And I have other acquaintances that say they love their jobs and it's like, "Great, throw it in my face that you like what you do while I have to sit here and suffer for eight hours a day."  Simultaneously, I do recognize that I'm fortunate to have a job at all, regardless of whether I like it or not.  Still, it doesn't make it any easier or make me feel any better.

I just keep trying to remind myself that I can't just quit because I have bills to pay and I have animation software and equipment that I need to buy and even that causes concern for me because I work pretty crappy hours and I basically sleep all day until time to go to work and then I don't get back home until 1 in the morning and I go straight to bed.  So, when I do get all of my equipment, when am I going to find the time and energy to animate?  I know, I know, make the time but it's just not that practical when I'm either exhausted or emotionally wrecked, or oftentimes, both.

This will probably be the last time I speak about this.  Any rants or raves will have to go into my handwritten journal because of my paranoia of being caught on the internet.  I just wanted to bring it up because I kind of left my chronicled job hunt up in the air but now that I have a job, I can put this chapter of my afterlife to rest.

That is, until I can finally quit!  I just have to, you know, win the lottery or get hit by a school bus and then sue the bus driver, the school, all of the children on the bus, the city, and anyone else within a two mile radius.