Open the Window

Well, you know things can't be too easy for the Bran man.

It suddenly dawned on me on Sunday that I completely forgot to ask if the new job was full-time or part-time.  I had always assumed it was full-time although the job application never explicitly stated so.  Even during the interview, I can't remember the man saying that it was full-time.  He did talk like it was but, once again, never explicitly stated either way.  Crap.  This could be potentially troublesome.

What an idiot.  How do you apply for a job and go in for the interview and then accept their offer without knowing that one crucial detail?  It's like getting married to someone and then asking them to tell you their last name or jumping out of an airplane without checking the safety of the parachute.  You assume you'll be okay but it's something you should probably know ahead of time.

The knots began forming in my stomach.  All this positivity and prayer over a part-time job?  Wouldn't that just suck a big one? 

"Of course, it was full-time," I tried to assure myself. 

Everything about the job specifics and everything about the interview suggested it was full-time so of course it was.  I was ninety-nine percent sure.  Of course, that one percent was all it took to screw me over and I didn't like those odds.  I had to work on Sunday and had planned on quitting that day but ever since I realized it might be part-time, I decided not to jump the gun and quit just yet.  If the job was part-time, I literally couldn't work there.  It's a nearly two hour drive and getting so few hours would cover gas and that would be it.  No way I could move there and pay rent and live off of part-time.  And I don't want to quit my current job and then find out the other job is part-time and then have nowhere to work.  As much as I disliked my current job, I didn't want to lose it 'cause I need to be earning some kind of money.  I tried to play it safe.  And the knots tightened.

I ended up going in to work and being pretty ticked off at myself for not confirming the job status when I had not one, but two opportunities to do so.  I'd have to call them the next day to confirm.

But it wasn't that easy.  I couldn't just call up the company because they are a new business and don't have a number listed on Google or even on their homepage.  I ended up having to call the building where I did my interview and fortunately they were able to transfer me to the appropriate people.  I called at nine in the morning and asked to speak to the man who offered me the job.  If anyone could tell me, he could.  I also compiled a list of other questions, like if the training was paid and what the dress code would be like for the job, just common inquiries to somewhat cushion the stupidity of the full-time question.  I mean, really?  I didn't want the guy thinking I was dumb for asking about the job hours after accepting the position.  I was just going to slip that question in among the other questions so that I wouldn't sound like such a glaring idiot.

Well, the call went to his voicemail.  Awesome.  I left a message and waited.  I hated the waiting.  Hour after hour passed and I never got a phone call in return.  It's not so much that I was being impatient.  I just needed an answer at an appropriate time so that I could call up my current job and quit that shizz and not have to go in to work that day.  And because I had no idea how the resignation process works, I didn't know if my trainer would be involved or if I'd have to speak to someone from Human Resources or what.  I didn't want to call my trainer at the last minute, right before classes started, and tell her I was quitting and tie her up right before the class started.  So, I had hoped that he would quickly call me back to confirm the fulll-time status so I could quit and get it over with and not have to go in to work.

Hour after hour and no call.  Fantastic.

I finally decided to call back, after much hesitation.  I didn't want to seem pushy, calling after I had already left a message.  I had all these worries running through me, either looking stupid or pushy or both.  This guy was gonna think he had made a mistake by hiring me!  I don't want this dumb, pushy guy working for me!  I know, I'm neurotic and overthink things.

I decided to call anyway, despite what this guy might think because I needed some peace of mind.  I needed to know that this was, in fact, going to work for me.  I was finally able to get in touch with Nick, the guy who offered me the job.  During the Q&A, he did confirm that the job was full-time and with benefits, too (a bonus)!  What a relief.  I knew this was true but as I said, that one percent chance could have bitten me on the butt.

Unfortunately, it was three o' clock and I had to be at work at four.  It was too late to quit.  Even though I disliked my place of employment, I didn't want to leave a bad impression.  I didn't want to be one of those people who quit five minutes before clocking in.  The thing is, I was still in training and not out on the floor so it's not like I would be leaving anyone up in the air.  But, as I said, I didn't know if my trainer would have to fill out paper work with me and I didn't want to tie her up with me when she had a class to prepare for.  I decided it was too late to quit so I went back in to work, much to my chagrin.

And because I didn't know if I'd have to have my trainer involved in my resignation and becuase I didn't know who else to tell, I decided to tell her after work so that she could tell me what I needed to do the next day and if she had to be present, etc.  It was awkward because I hate face-to-face confrontations but it needed to be done so that I would know what to do the next day.  I kind of hovered around the room as everyone else left for the day and when everyone was gone, I went up to my trainer and told her I needed to speak with her.  I told her I had received a job offer that I was really excited about and had accepted it, therefore I couldn't work there anymore.  She said she was happy for me and sad for herself.  Well, of course she was!  I was awesome!  I talked to her a bit about my decision to leave and why I took the new job offer and she completely understood.  She said she'd never discourage anyone from taking a job that will help them progress toward their goals.  All in all, the conversation wasn't as wierd or awkward as I had thought and I was thankful for that.

So, it's over.  I'm happy.  I'm relieved.  I feel good about the present and about my future.  I'm trying to be optimistic cautiously.  I don't want another SCAD repeat where I put all of my hopes and dreams into one place only to find utter disappointment.  No, I want to go about this potential new phase in my life with reserved positivity.  I know things won't be amazing.  I'm just hoping for some satisfaction.  I'm ready to be independent and support myself and be self-sufficient.  I wanna be able to poop with the door open and make my coffee in the buff.  I'm ready for the freedom!