Weekend

Because my (former?) work doesn't know which end is up, I decided to take advantage of their indecision and call my sister to see if I could immediately come over.  I was met with some apprehension.  She said she would be busy this upcoming week because she'd be having new furniture put in.  I don't really know what that has to do me staying with her.  I'm a big guy but I'm not going to take up the entire living room or clog up the hallways with my lard arse but whatever.

"But you can come over this weekend...or next weekend," she added.

I really don't have that kind of time, though.  My supervisor could call me any day and tell me the reopening is back on.  That's kind of why I wanted to be there by Saturday at the latest and stay there for at least a week, maybe even two if I could manage it.  Unfortunately, my stay has been reduced to just this weekend.

"I'll drive you around and we can look at places and stuff," she said.

"Yeah, and maybe I could come back some other time and start applying," I included.  She agreed.  We exchanged goodbyes and I hung up.

I'll be leaving Saturday morning.

But, I don't really feel good about it.

I really wanted to go there to apply for work somewhere but I won't have time to do that if I stay for two measly days.  And if I do apply anywhere, it's not like they'll call the next day.  Companies usually wait a week or two to get a suitable number of applications before calling people in for interviews.  I guess, really, going there won't do me any good.  I'll have a vaguely better idea of the type of work I could get there but that'll be about it.  Or maybe I'll just get a glimpse of what I can't have.  I guess it depends on how you look at it.

My only other option now is to hope that the company doesn't open back up until I've been given sufficient time to apply.  Or I could apply online and if I ever got a call for an interview, I could drive up there on my days off and hopefully stay with Shannon while there.  As if driving an hour and a half to work each day wasn't bad enough, I'll have the pleasure of driving two and half hours to my sister's house just for an interview that might or might not result in a job.

It's all so daunting.  I'm grasping at straws here and it's exhausting.  Yet, all around me I'm seeing the kids I graduated with getting internships and jobs so easily.  Location places a big part for them but it's no less frustrating.  My former roommate from college got a job at another college, his own apartment and he's steadily working his way up to becoming the graphic designer for the college.  Two girls that were in my classes are animation interns.  Friends from high school have moved on and they've established themselves.  And I'm still stuck.  Even when I try to better myself, doors close in my face.  I'm not saying all is lost but it certainly feels that way.  I mean, I could have declined going to my sister's house but I'll go anyway.  Who knows what might happen.  Although I'm pretty sure I know that I'll spend a wasteful weekend there and then have to come back home to nothing.

I don't want to say it seemed like my sister was blowing me off but at first she said it was cool if I stay with her and now she's saying she's going to be too busy.  It's just kind of inconvenient, especially when I'm racing against time.  Any moment, my supervisor could call with the dreaded news.  I swear to you, when I see his name flash on my phone, my heart drops.  Every time he calls, it's never good news.  I don't see how I'd be getting in the way, as I'd probably be out of her house looking for work or in her guest bedroom, filling out applications.  Oh well, it's her house and it's her decision so I won't push anything.

At least she can help me with my resume.  She's good at stuff like that.

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Edit:
Shannon just called and said she'd rather wait until the middle of next month.  I knew I detected some hesitation in her voice.  This can only mean that work will call me and tell me we are on again and I will have missed my chance.  I'm telling you.  Slap in the face.  A kick in the nuts.  Another paper cut on an already infected hand.