job prospect paralysis, part II

I walked around with heartburn all day because of the job situation.  I wasn't sure whether or not I should take it.  The good parts sounded really good and the bad parts sounded really bad.  It felt like a combination of my two job prospects I have had in the past:  doing really well during the interview for the electric company and wondering if I should take the supervisor position at my current job.

It was really weird how this new opportunity mirrored the previous one with the electric company.  Both jobs came out of the blue.  I rocked both interviews.  And, as it turns out, neither one of them called me back.  The only difference was I really wanted the one at the Electric Cooperative.

I'm left kind of confused.  Perhaps I'm totally off but like I said, I think I did really well in the interview.  I made her laugh.  I was charming and acted interested.  She said it was obvious I had the customer service part down.  So, what went wrong?  I was supposed to get a call yesterday for a second interview over the phone but when I didn't, I thought maybe the lady had gotten behind and she'd ring me today.  She didn't.  I can't say I'm too upset about it because I was going to turn her down anyway.  What really clenched the decision for me was the fact that my current job said they wouldn't work with the new job's schedule, even though they will work around anyone else's.  I always thought I'd have the old job to fall back on if the new one didn't work but I just can't risk quitting one job and taking another with no stability.

Although I didn't want to take the job, I didn't want to have to tell her.  I just thought if she didn't call, I wouldn't have to worry about having that awkward exchange.  Then again, if she didn't call, that would mean I wasn't good enough or qualified enough for them, which would be pretty upsetting.  So, I realized, yes, I did want her to call.  It would show I was good enough, that someone actually wanted me.  But, I guess I wasn't.  I guess they didn't.

There's always the chance she could call tomorrow but that would mean she was terribly behind schedule and I just don't see it happening.  Of course, if she did call it would make me feel better about my qualifications but I think the chances of that are slim.

As I said, I'm not upset about not getting the job but I am a little disappointed that I lost out on another opportunity.  When you send out applications and resumes constantly and never hear anything back, it's disheartening.  And when you finally do snag that interview and when you are amazing and then you still don't get it, it's even more miserable.

While I'm slightly deflated, I'm also relieved.  At least I don't have the stress of trying to make a decision and the stress of worrying if I'd make the wrong one.  Seems like the choice was made for me.  Now, I can go back to hating my current job, which continues to get worse.

Speaking of, my supervisor is retiring and I'm worried she'll be replaced with someone unsavory.  And the air conditioning was damaged a few weeks ago and the already hot building is now sweltering.  I've always complained about being hot 'cause I'm just naturally a fat, sweaty guy and when I get stressed out or nervous (which is all the time) it makes me even hotter.  So, imagine how I feel now that the air conditioning isn't working.  Everyone has been complaining and I'm like, "Well, now you all know what I've been talking about this whole time."  Except they really don't because now I'm still hotter than they are 'cause now I'm twice as hot.  It certainly doesn't help the rumors that the place is actually a doorway to hell with demons shooting out and taking the guise of disgruntled customers.