With that being said, let me talk about how it's going so far.
I only worked Thursday and Friday and had this weekend off so it was kind of nice to ease into this new situation. It was pretty intense because it's a new business with hundreds of employees and everyone was hired at the same time so we had this large orientation session complete with presentations and mass signings of paperwork. I have to admit, it was also slightly boring but, you know, going over stuff like the sexual harassment policy and medical insurance isn't exactly titillating.
It was kind of overwhelming to see everyone that I'd possibly be working with. A vast range of races and ages and personality types. I did notice that quite a few of the people seemed older, which I thought would be comforting at first but the more I thought about it, the more I wondered if I'd have anything in common with these people. Then again, I just remembered that I always got along with the older people during my previous jobs so I tried not to worry about it too much.
During the presentation, I felt pretty good about where I was. It really seemed like I was a part of something pretty big. This new business is projected to bring in a lot of money to the city and even the state and it should help out so many people. Not only will this business provide thousands of jobs by the time everything is completed but it should help out our schools and all that good stuff. So, hopefully this place will be good for everyone overall. Also, it's considered to be a very upscale and classy joint, which is pretty awesome. It's nice to be a part of a job you can take pride in, something that you can feel good about joining.
The funny thing is, after two days, I'm still not entirely sure what my job entails. I should find out tomorrow when I go in for job specific training. I was told on the phone when I was offered the job that it should be pretty easy. Of course, since it's a new business, things are always changing so maybe my job duties have changed but I do hope it's easy. I know a lot of people are looking for challenging work, something that will stimulate their brain. Well, for me, my brain is constantly stimulated enough. I have so many other things going on, so many ideas that are constantly coming in and floating around in my head and at this point in my life, I don't need a job that's going to interfere with my thought process. I say that because, while I'm very grateful for this job, this is not the last job I want to have. This is not my goal. This job is purely to provide the monetary means to help me continue my animation studies. And the animation ideas and the ideas for written stories are what I want to keep lodged in my brain, not work. When I worked at JCPenney, it was an easy job. It was pretty mindless and I preferred it that way. I can remember folding shirts and being struck with an idea for a poem or a line for a story. I'd break off a strip of receipt paper, write down my ideas and then continue with my work. I liked it because it allowed me to focus on more important things, my art and my writing, rather than concentrating solely on slacks.
That doesn't sound douchey, does it? I'm still going to take the job seriously and do my best. I'm not going to mess around at work. I guess I'm just saying that it would be nice to be able to do my job while still concentrating on my main goal, which is to continue writing and eventually start animating again. I have so many ideas that I want to keep fresh in my mind, so many new ideas that keep coming in and I don't want to lose that.
It's an hour and a half drive to and from work. While it's not too bad at this point, I am sure that will change after I've been on my feet for eight hours at a time and I'm exhausted and I still have an hour and a half drive ahead of me. But, I already made a decision that I would do what it took to get the job and keep the job because I really believe this job will help me move out of my parents' house and into an apartment and will allow me to get all the necessary tools I'll need to get back into the swing of animation. Maybe that tiresome drive won't last too long. Hopefully I'll have enough saved up soon so that I can get myself moved out.
Because the job is pretty far away, it's like dipping myself into a different world. The drive is like a portal that I enter that sends me to a completely different realm. This feeling is reinforced by the fact that I'm a stranger in this sea of unfamiliar faces. I don't know anyone and no one knows me. It's almost like I'm back in Savannah. It's all awkward and uneasy. It's certainly going to take time to get myself settled into this new routine. Of course, this always happens to me. Change always makes me apprehensive. That doesn't mean that I won't adjust. I always do. It just takes time.
It's kind of weird. I'm still trying to hold onto that "cautiously optimistic attitude" that I've been trying to adopt over the past several weeks. I don't want to get too excited because I've learned, the hard way, that too much excitement ultimately leads to disappointment. At the same time, I get pretty tired of being bitter and negative about everything. I'm in the process of resorting to positive thinking but I'm doing it carefully, slowly. I do hope that this job will be great but no job is perfect and I have to accept that there will be things that I won't like about it. That doesn't mean I have to hate the place. I just have to take what the job gives me and make the best of it. That's really all I can do.
I'm scared, nervous, excited and anxious.
This could very well be a chance to come back to life.
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