A Fistful of Fiscal

Ugh, I hate myself.

I'm a fool with my finances.  I'm dangerous with my debit card.  I discard receipts and never check out my bank statements.  I buy a lot of crap that I don't need and sometimes don't even want.  I have several automated deductions taken from my account each month, some that I've completely forgotten about.  So, it shouldn't have come as a surprise (although it did) when I checked my account online and saw that I had no money.

I've been saving up for a Wacom Cinitq for the past two months, ever since I started working steadily.  According to my paychecks at work, I had earned approximately two thousand dollars, which is roughly how much a Cintiq costs.  Although I had earned that much, that didn't mean I actually possessed that much.  Although I'm pretty aloof with my spending, I knew I had probably spent a good portion of my earnings on...well, junk.  So, before I made the leap to buy that precious Cintiq, I went to check to see how much of that two thousand dollars I still had in my account.  I figured I might be off by a couple hundred dollars and that in another paycheck or two, I'd finally be able to afford the equipment so I could start animating again!  My heart sank when I saw how much I actually had in my account.

Turns out out of the two thousand dollars I had earned, I actually only had three hundred dollars of that in my checking account!  I was pretty devastated.  Not only was I nowhere near close to having enough money to purchase the Cintiq, I was angry that I had managed to fritter away almost two thousand dollars in approximately two months!  What the heck was I buying?  Well, according to line after line of Sonic, McDonald and Wal-Mart purchases, a bucketful of french fries and Chapstick.  How depressing.

It's almost like I'm starting over.  All the frustration, long hours and worry from work added up to nothing.  All I can do is start being super careful with my finances.  I've already cut out all the fast food over the past two weeks and that has already helped increase my checking account and decrease my waistline.  I will also no longer be purchasing any books and instead utilize my local public library.  I will also no longer be buying small snack foods or candy while in line at the grocery story or while making trips to the convenience stores.  I will only eat what's in the kitchen instead of buying extra food based on a particular craving I might be having that day.  No more buying snacks or drinks at work.  No more being wasteful.  I just have to keep that Cintiq in my mind any time I want to buy something stupid.

That Cintiq will be mine, darn tootin' freakin' A!  I'm looking toward a November-ish purchase.  Unless anyone wants to pitch in!  I might be able to get it sooner.  I'm still open to the idea of donations.  Contribute now and I will make a short cartoon just for you!  Or when I finally create my own cartoon series, you will be a voice of one of my characters!   The sad part is maybe I could have already had some new material by November if I could have purchased everything by now.  Or what if I would have already had my website set up to show my animations to potential companies.  What if I could have already had a job in November and wouldn't have to endure this retail hell anymore.  Sad times.

Oh, well.  The only thing I can do is just start saving and get stingy.  And check for every freaking penny on the ground I can find.

Let's make this happen.