Work and School Symbiosis

Work:  Still sucks but I've been trying to get by.  The hours are long, the paychecks are small and the customers/co-workers are annoying.  I've contemplated trying to look for something else while I work there except I don't think I'll find a job that pays as well as this one and is as close to home as this one.  So, I'm kind of trapped and I'll be sticking around until I can find another job or.....

I'm fired.

The queerest thing has been happening lately.  The cash drawer has been coming up short multiple times.  This latest case was a large, heart sinking amount of money.  When the drawer came up short the first time, I immediately thought to myself what am I doing wrong?  There haven't been any situations in which I think I might have messed up with a customer's transaction and I always count my money back to the customer so I can't really see it being my fault.  Of course, it's entirely possible I did screw something up.  See, in this particular store, all associates share a register so it could be anyone's fault and the store wouldn't have any real way of knowing who's mistake it was.  But, it's only been happening since I started back.  Naturally, that doesn't look too good for me.  At the same time, these people know me.  I worked there for two years prior without any incident.  And just because I left and went off to college and it made me a cold-hearted snake doesn't mean it made me a thief.  I would hope they aren't suspicious of me but I'm a very paranoid person and I am worried that they are.

There are a few possibilities here.  First, maybe I am screwing something up without realizing it.  Secondly, someone else is screwing up without realizing it.  Lastly, and I hope the least unlikely, is that someone is messing up on purpose so as to get me terminated.  The reason why?  I'm taking all the good hours.  The reason why?  I'm a great worker.  Once again, this is where the paranoia kicks in and I wonder if a certain someone has it in for me.  I know exactly who it is, too.  And I honestly wouldn't put it past this person.  Because while we all share the same drawer, the drawer only come up short when me and that one particular person work together.  Coincidence or conspiracy?  I can only hope that the situation resolves itself and I'm cleared of any accusatory thoughts.  Still, I will worry because, in the end, it really could be my fault.  Just not on purpose.  It just doesn't make sense that anyone, especially me, would take money from the company.  Everything we do is tracked so if a drawer comes up short, they'll come after everyone who used it, which would include me.  And since there's only two or three people that work there at a time, that puts a large target over me.  Plus, with me being new and it just now happening, that doesn't help my case.  And since it has happened twice before, why would I push my luck with a third time and by taking such a large amount of money?  And as I said, because jobs are hard to come by and because I do have such high expenses, why would I put my job in jeopardy like that?  It's almost like those red herrings you see in movies where the evidence mounts so highly against one person that they couldn't possibly be the killer.  I am not the killer, guys.

I just hope they realize that.

In other news, I might be going back to school in a few weeks.  It all depends on how much financial aid I can get and whatever I can afford after that.  I also have to pick a program.  I'm leaning toward either drafting or office/medical administration.  My mom really wants me to do drafting because she thinks I'll be good at it because of my drawing ability.  I think it will be boring because I think all you draw is buildings, right?  Plus, I hear there's math involved and I am terrible at math.  I would rather do the administration thing because I got a taste of it working in an office years ago and really enjoyed it and would like to work in that kind of office environment (i.e. not working with the public) again.

I have a few reasons for wanting to go back to school.  First of all, I don't want to work at this retail store anymore.  The sooner I can graduate and find a job in my field of study, the better!  Of course, that's easier said than done because I had high hopes I'd be able to find an art-related job after graduating from SCAD and that didn't work too well but at least I'd be working with two degrees instead of just one.  Hopefully my opportunities would be increased, if even by a fraction.  Second, if I'm going to school my hours at the retail store will be reduced, which is also a good thing.  The less time I'm there, the better I feel.  Plus, maybe that other associate will get their hours back and won't feel the need to (allegedly) dip into company funds and hope the blame falls on Bran.  Lastly, if I'm in school, I won't have to pay my exorbitant student loans until after I graduate.  I can't depend on getting another forbearance because the first one only lasted a month and a half after they told me it would last six months and so they might not give me another one at all.  I don't understand how all that works but I know I can keep them at bay if I'm in school.

But what if I can't afford it?

It's possible that any grants I might receive will not be processed in time.  I have to apply to the school on Thursday and declare a program and then register for classes on Friday.  My financial aid won't be processed until my SCAD transcript is sent to them and that won't get there until tomorrow.  I don't know if it'll be done in time.  And even if it does get done in time, I might not be eligible to receive any money.  I have been saving up from work but I really wanted that money to go toward animation software and equipment.  I think I just have enough to use that for school but then I'd have to start all over for the animation stuff.  And if I can't go back to school, I guess I could go ahead and purchase the animation stuff and then once I get that paid for, start saving up for school, which will be hard to do with those monthly student loan payments.  And that's assuming I'll still have a job if this money thing doesn't resolve itself.  I mean, I'm sure I'll be okay about the job because they really don't know how the money got shorted.  They won't wipe out the entire department over this.  But, still, I'm sure people will form their own opinions and look at me with scrutiny.

Ugh, all this after working seven days in a row, seven hard days of huge back-to-school sales and a tax free weekend on top of that.  I'm wiped out and now I have to spend my two days worrying about this money thing.  But, what if it's already been resolved?  All this worry for nothing.  But, what if it hasn't been?  I hate that nagging unease, especially when I'm trying to recover from such a long week of work.  Such is my life.  There will always be something to worry about.  But, I digress.

Going back to school (so to speak), I suppose I could just take a few classes here or there.  It would be easily affordable and maybe I'd still have enough free time to maintain enough hours at work so my paycheck won't take such a hit so I'll still be able to pay the student loans and save up whatever's left for the animation software and such.  I guess I have a few options.  I just don't know which option is the best.  I know the best case scenario would be if I didn't have to pay for school at all and I could take all my money to buy the animation stuff and get all those expenses out of the way so that what little money I earn from the retail store can all go into saving for the student loan payments I'll eventually have to make after graduation.  By that time, hopefully I'd have enough saved up to make those payments comfortably.

If my blog was more popular, I might would ask for donations.  I don't think I'd be able to squeeze five bucks out of my current "barely noticed" status.  Maybe I should pimp myself out to every social network or maybe create an incentive.  Hey guys, donate now and I'll include you in the acknowledgments in my first book or I'll create a short animated film just for you!

Hm.. I wonder if that would work...?