exquisite vampire

I just finished Breaking Dawn, the final book in the Twilight saga.

As per usual, when I watch a movie or read a book, I like to look up the reviews to see what other people thought.  Sometimes, they'll even bring up a topic about the book/movie that I'll find interesting.  It might ask a question I hadn't thought of or bring up a point that causes me to appreciate it more.  Sometimes, they might even answer a question or concern I have.

Well, the book got a lot of bad reviews.  Lots of accusations of bad writing, bad plot, bad characters...pretty much bad everything.  I started to feel bad for Stephenie Meyer because people are really trashing the book.  Not just that one, either, but the whole series.  Even though I feel bad, I can't not agree, at least somewhat, with the reviews.

Frankly, I didn't hate the book.  It kept me interested (mostly) and I was able to read it in a few days.  But, I went in having already read the first three and I knew I shouldn't expect anything groundbreaking or life-changing.  Pretty much my whole attitude toward the books have been that they are decent stories about vampires and love and that they are aimed toward preteen girls, whether that aim was intentional or not.  So, using my preteen girl mind, I took the books for what they were and enjoyed them.  They are safe, not asking you to think too much or feel too deeply.  Outwardly, they don't cause you to question people or relationships or life.  It's just good entertainment.

For some reason, it seems to me that books are judged much more harshly than movies.  Have you ever watched a Friday the 13th film and expected it to touch your heart or enrich your life?  Of course not.  The movies are just good watches.  So, why does every book, including the Twilight series, have to be a Shakespearean masterpiece?  Why should the author be punished for her imperfect prose?  I can't speak for Ms. Meyer, as I don't know her intentions while writing the books, but she probably wanted the books to be good and to touch people in their own way, but never thought they were going to be literary ambrosia.

And I'm not trying to make excuses for bad writing.  Obviously, the more crap we allow to be put into the world, the more people will absorb it and accept it and start expecting it.  We will gradually dumb ourselves down.  In fact, I'm sure we already have.  Just look at the reality television explosion.  They've replaced well written shows that could entertain, teach and enlighten.  But, I think there's different forms of entertainment out there.  I think all of those different forms of entertainment should be absorbed.  Sure, you can have some mindless fun but you should also try to educate yourself as well.  Watch a little Jersey Shore, then absorb a documentary.  Listen to Britney Spears and follow it up with some Beethovan.  Read Twilight and then check out Pride and Prejudice, which Twilight is loosely based on.

As I mentioned before, I feel bad for Stephenie Meyer.  No matter what her intentions for the books, I'm sure they are incredibly special to her, especially considering what they've managed to accomplish.  And to have people bash that must tarnish a bit of her happiness.  Then again, she's a multi-millionaire so she really shouldn't have anything to feel bad about.  Even if everyone thinks her work is crap, she's still cashing those checks.  It's just that, as a wannabe writer, I know how it is to put stuff out there and hope people will like it and when they don't, it's a let down, especially when your writing is extremely personal to you.  When people reject your work, it's almost like they are rejecting you.  And that hurts.  And, as a wannabe writer, I don't think I'm any more talented than Ms. Meyer.  So, if people think she sucks then I guess I do, too!  Of course, her books have been wildly successful so maybe that also means mine might be one day as well.  Lastly, as a wannabe writer who happens to be working on a novel, I know it's not easy to write a book.  So to be able to write something that's at least coherent and readable is an accomplishment itself.

And isn't entertainment subjective?  Not everyone is going to like the same thing.  Not everyone is going to hate the same thing.

I guess feeling sorry for Meyer is a reflection of my own insecurities.  If I ever get anything published or go the self-publishing route, I'm going to be terrified that I'll suck, that people will be repulsed by my horrid writing.  I'm terrified people will find out that I'm actually not talented at all, that I can't  handle anything more than an unorganized blog.  It's kind of funny because I actually found an editor willing to work on my novel I wrote for National Novel Writing Month and now that I've found one, I'm too scared to actually work with him.  I don't want him to read my stuff and think it's crap, that I'm crap.

I suppose I really need to get over this self-loathing.  It's starting to get tired, I know.  I can't help it much, though.  But, hey, if I could make the kind of cash the Mormon vamp lady is making, I think I'd be able to deal a lot better.  In fact, I'm sure I'd feel pretty darn good about myself.  But, it'll never happen if I never submit the story to an editor, never have the guts to put my writing out there, put myself out there, believe in what I can do and share it with the world.

I guess I gotta suck it up and take a bite out of life.

See what I did there?