that's amore, asshole

Yesterday, I talked to my work girlfriend (WG) about a co-worker of ours and her love life.  She had recently gotten back together with her boyfriend, although I never knew they broke up.  WG told me the co-worker found him talking to another girl.

This was after he had already knocked up a third party and then denied the paternity.  And he doesn't have a job (which is understandable in this economy and nothing to scoff at but he's not even trying, which is the scummy part).  But he couldn't deny he was talking to another girl.  Our co-worker walked in on them having dinner together at a Mexican restaurant.

Their interaction, as well as the burritos, got heated.

"What a scumbag," I said.

"Yeah, I know.  I think he's a piece of crap.  I tried telling her."

"But she still took him back?  Why?"

WG shrugged.

"See, I just don't get this," I said.  "People like him get girlfriends all the time.  And look at me.  Good guy.  Single."

"Yeah," she agreed.  "You just have to be an asshole."

"Oh, really?"  I said. 

"Yeah.  Like, if you're mean to us we wanna work harder to make you like us."

So, that's amore, huh?  Treat a girl like crap and she'll come running.  Of course, I know not all girls feel that way but I think the vast majority of them do.  Especially young girls like our co-worker.  I also wonder if she took him back because she didn't think she deserved better.

Sounded like too much trouble to me.  I just try to be as genuine as I can be.  Sure, sometimes I try to be on my best behavior or censor my dark sense of humor around some but for the most part, I'm pretty much me.  I don't go out of my way to deviate too far from my natural behavior.  And I don't feel like changing that to snag a mate.  If it means it will take longer for someone to appreciate me how I am, then that's fine.  I'm not looking anyway.

But I did want to have a little fun.

Before I walked away from WG, I turned to her and said, "Yeah, and by the way, you should probably get your highlights fixed.  They're lookin' jacked."

She gasped, her eyes wide with surprise, an uncontrollable grin spreading across her face.

"Yeah," I said.  "You're more attracted to me now, aren't you?"

She stood still, her hand on her chest, still smiling.

She didn't disagree.