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With a pizza.
I so looked forward to getting off work and grabbing a mocha frappe and then coming home and getting it on with a spicy Italian pie. We chatted for a bit (preheat oven) and as soon as the oven dinged, things got hot and heavy pretty fast (400 degrees for 12 minutes) and we had an enjoyable time together.
Now that's amore.
And for liquid afterglow, I drank down the frappe like my happiness depended on it. 'Cause in many ways, it did. It was over way too soon but I was ravenous. My carnal cravings had kicked in and needed to be satisfied.
And several weeks ago, I went to dinner with an acquaintance and had a cheesy turkey sandwich with sliced and seasoned potatoes. Then we went to Starbucks where I got a 5,000 calorie frozen coffee drink and (this is embarrassing) then we drove across the street to Taco Bell where I got 4 Doritos Locos tacos.
So, in case you weren't aware, I haven't been doing well on my diet at all. Of course, I blame my rude acquaintance and the fact that my social life, work life, and life life sucks for why I've been sucking up food like a gluttonous vacuum.
Despite that, I've actually been pretty consistent with my working out, which surprises me. I hate exercise more than I love food and so I'd almost rather not eat than work out. Maybe there's been a shift in my head. And maybe the working out has offset the terrible eating and that's why I haven't gained any more weight.
But I certainly haven't lost any. The sixth month of the year is winding down, which means I should be sixty pounds lighter. I'm only thirty. I've been down thirty pounds for three months now, fluctuating between gaining two pounds and losing three and gaining one and losing one, etc. And it sucks.
But muscle does weigh more than fat so maybe I'm still slimming down (albeit extremely slowly) and the scale is just representing the muscle that I've put on. I can tell there's more definition in my arms and my legs look and feel pretty good. It's just my meddlesome midsection that's holding me back from feeling good about myself.
I've been doing the old school Power 90 (I'm almost at day 60 with only a month left) and I can tell my endurance has increased. I can last longer, go harder, and can do more push ups and crunches than when I first started.
The worst part, as it's always been, is getting started. The monotony has settled in big time. I'm just tired of putting on my shoes and turning Pandora on and listening to the same ten songs (although I choose different stations frequently) and doing the same routine day after day. I was excited to switch to the second phase of Power 90 but I forgot the only difference is there's another round of cardio at the end of each segment. Nothing else is switched up. I know I can do different workouts but I really want to see these 90 days through to the end.
But once I get up and get going, it's not so bad. Because I'm so familiar with the routine, I know when I'm close to being done and knowing I'm almost finished helps push me through the last little bit. And I enjoy the sweat. When it rolls down my face and stings my eyes, it makes me feel like I really did something. I've started to enjoy the ache of exerted muscles, the fatigue, the wobbly limb feeling of giving it my all.
Also, I've had to switch to a smaller belt. I've already bought smaller work pants and will have to buy more soon. I bought smaller jeans today. My pajama tops are getting looser and my torso isn't rubbing up against the fabric like it used to. It's nice.
I've also been getting compliments from people, which is also nice.
But I'm still not where I want to be. I feel like I need to crank up my diet and start eating better. At the same time, I haven't beaten myself up over my nutritional mishaps like I used to in the past. I've just realized that I'm weak when it comes to food and that's okay. I can say no to bad food choices five hundred times in a row but that doesn't mean I've conquered it. I never will but that doesn't mean I can't put up a fight. That also doesn't mean all the times I've given in will negate all the times I didn't. For example, despite those four Doritos Locos tacos, I'm still getting thinner. It's taken a bit more time, sure, but it's not as if that one delicious mistake has caused me to gain all my weight back.
I don't want to be the poster boy for cheating on a diet but really, it's not that huge of a deal. Just don't cheat every day with every meal and you should be fine. It's taken me a long time to learn that and I feel good knowing that it is okay to have a taco here or a pizza and frappe there.
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| I was so excited to come home and enjoy this. Who needs a companion when you have carbs? :| If only carbs could cuddle. |
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